Games for Thought We've all played one classic game or another, whether it be Super Mario Bros., Pac-Man, or something else like that. One thing lingers in my mind and has for years, however. Nothing bad so to say, but more curious than others. Some would tell me not to question the logic of these games, but I can't restrain from doing so. How? Why? Don't get what I'm talking about? Allow me to elaborate below.


Here, we have the world-famous Pac-Man. I'm sure I didn't need to tell you that though, because we all recognize the familiar lemon pie with eyes eating dots, fruits, and being chased by ghosts. I just explained what I'm talking about just now. How strange and simple the idea is, yet it brought millions- no. Billions to the creators, Namco. How did they come up with this idea, and how did it get them so much God damned money!? Then again, maybe I shouldn't ask this question. But again, I can't help it. I have to know. It seems so simple to come up with such an idea and then you make millions for it. It's so baffling to see how simple it looks. But really, these guys were smoking something I think before they sat down and said "Let's make a game where you're a big round yellow dot that opens and closes his mouth rapidly, whom has eyes, gets chased by a rainbow-range of ghosts while the goal is to eat every dot in the level and also items that appear in the middle of it. Also, let's make big dots and call them Power Pellets, which serve the purpose of eating so that you can attack the ghosts for a short period of time." Let's carry on.


I think if I have to say what game this is to you, you're really fucking stupid. Then again, I did point out Pac-Man, so Super Mario Bros. There, happy now? Good. Back to the topic at hand, here's another one of those classic gems which was so simple yet pulled in so many people, the only thing not having been done to it is being jizzed on, or then again I could be wrong, but please don't prove me otherwise, I'll smack your face with a fish, bitch. The main story or plot, or whatever the hell you wanna call it, is one of those usual childhood fairytale stories: the knight in shining armour goes out to kill the evil creature which holds the damsel in distress captive, and he rescues her. But it's not quite like that. Try a fat-ass plumber who runs around, eats mushrooms with eyes on them to grow bigger, eats flowers to change his outfit and throw fireballs, and touches stars with eyes to become invincible for a short while. His enemies consist of evil mushrooms (Goombas), turtles with multi-coloured shells (Koopas) and some of which that fly (Para-Troopas), beetles, oversized pirhana plants which come up out of pipes, turtles that throw hammers at you (Hammer Bros.), and lastly, Bowser, who is the king of everything.. Not good. He is an oversized turtle with claws, spikes on his shell, red hair, horns, and he spits fire and throws hammers at you. In the end of the first 7 worlds, you rescue a little midget wearing Arabian Knights-style clothing with a mushroom sucking the life out of his brain as if it were some sort of Metroid, and then the last world, you rescue Princess Toadstool (later known as Peach), who is a human. Finally! Jesus Christ, another human aside from your brother, Luigi. I only have one thing to say about the creators of this game, they must've been eating what makes you bigger in a virtual world. Who in a sober state of mind, would think of making a game where you go down big green pipes? Not even Pink Floyd sung about that kind of shit. Still, the game is strangely awesome, and I love to play it time to time.


And now we go to the 1986 classic, The Legend of Zelda. This game isn't so much non-sensual and "unique" such as the two above, as it follows the classic tales of a sword-holding hero rescuing a princess. However, it seems to also be so shortened on that end as far as story, yet the game is one of the most fucking addictive games I've ever played, perhaps even moreso than Pac-Man! There ain't much I actually have to say about this, except the idea that it's just.. Simply awesome. Nothing to not love about this game, although I've actually met several people who dislike it.

There's still several games that fall into the catergory of "How the hell?" but when games are like that, it's almost a guarantee that you'll love the game. But then of course, there's the bad "What the hell?" genre, but it's easy to tell which one is and isn't.